30!!

Sitting here today thinking about how my 30th birthday is just a few short weeks away, I am realizing that I have learned more about life in the past 5 years than I think did in all the time leading up to it. It's amazing how much you learn about adulthood, human nature, emotion, culture, relationships, family, faith, all in that short span of time. I am blessed to have had amazing parents who raised their children well, which had to be no small feat with 6, very strong willed girls. They raised us to each be our own individuals while teaching us the importance of living with dreams, values, integrity, faith & love. We didn't have much growing up, we lived very minimally, but I was ALWAYS happy. My childhood memories are truly some of my best. My parents divorced when I was 9, but I never really felt the effects of that like some families do, due to the fact that my parent's loved us girls so much that they made a constant effort to keep us involved in both of their lives, smothered with love as much as possible. I have always really admired that about them.

When I was kid I liked to daydream about what life would be like at 20, and 25, and 30, and then 40….40 was like SO OLD…. ;) I used to think…surely I'll have finished college by 20, married by 25, and have 2.5 kids by the age of 30, and then by 40, well, practically retired! It's funny how life never quite goes how you expect it. I've come to realize that the cookie cutter, 'American Dream' sequence of life wasn't necessarily for me. Don't get me wrong, I could definitely see myself being married and being a mother someday, but if that's not how my story ends up, I'm also ok with that. At risk of sounding MAJORLY cliché, 'Life is not about a destination, its about the journey'. 

In my early 20's I went through a couple of years that I called my 'wonder years', where I learned some hard lessons, had some seriously broken hearts , made some poor choices and grew up pretty quickly, and then as I approached my late 20's I really came much more into myself. I have become fiercely independent (probably a little too much as I'm sure a few of my sisters would say) and have had a drastically different outlook on life.

Without giving too many boring details, I am sure this is a tale so many can tell….how life always turns out so differently then you expect when you are a kid. But different can be SO GOOD! I'm learning to be in that mindset of, 'I am happy in the here and now, and also excited for what's next' simultaneously. Living life with arms wide open. I think so many people get so hung up on looking at 'the next big milestone' or 'next big excitement' that they think will make them happy, that they are not focused on being happy in the here and now and what it takes to make that happen.

I can candidly admit, I am a person with high emotions, good and bad, so this concept is not always easy for me. I go through my stages of extreme insecurities, doubts, fears…but I can tell you one thing….these things are normal…for EVERYONE. Every single person deals with this to one extent or another and no one can convince me otherwise. :) There are SO many ebbs and flows and twists and turns that are impossible to see coming. Embrace every bit of it. The highs, the lows, the happy's the sads. All of it forms who you are, how you got here, and the lessons you have learned. One thing I have always struggled with is getting so angry with myself when I feel any kind of sadness or emotion….that is totally RIDICULOUS. It's called HUMAN. BEING.

Balance yourself. Have your hard times, get it out, let out the hurts, but DON'T LINGER there. See your identity as the things you ARE and not the things you are NOT. Every single person is lovely and unique, and has so much to contribute to life. (Ok, maybe not Adolf Hitler, but you get the point).

One thing I ADORE about my family is how over the top stupidly cheesy we are about how much we love each other. We are not afraid to tell each other how much we love each other as much an as often as possible and its great. You never know what moment might be your last with someone. Make sure people know you care. And often. It's the SMALLEST things…it really is. :)

I don't really know what I'm trying to accomplish with this blog post other than….I'M ALMOST 30! And I'm GRATEFUL! So very grateful…for family, for friends, for the chance to live in a place that I absolutely love. So much. My life has been so rich and so full and I am so excited for the rest!

I will end this overly sentimental/fluffy blog post with one last important life fact:
It is impossible to lick your elbow.

(I know you just tried.)

Bloggitty Blog Blog Blog

The following are a series of 'so-true' life bloopers that I find completely hilarious. I hope you enjoy these as much as I do:

Life in the Office:

For the Fashion Savvy:

Do you talk the talk?

For Your Inner Nerd:

Aaaaaaaahhhh Family:

And don't forget the pets:

Happy weekend everyone!

Wide Angled Lens

The wide angled lens view is the best. I'm telling you, its the way to go.

When I look back at 2013 and all of its gloriousness, its endless joys and pronounced trials, I feel grateful for this lens. I know you can all relate to the feeling of one day feeling on top of the world only for the next day to feel like you are in the deepest valley. It's amazing how quickly it can turn around like that sometimes isn't it?

Let me tell you something…I promise you….you are NOT a freak. This is normal. This is human. This is life. After having a very long and meaningful conversation with my little sister last night, I found myself feeling really grateful that God has shown me this wide view lens of my life when I am feeling pitifully low. You ever notice that when you are feeling low and can't seem to shake it, that it is usually due to ONE situation or ONE person or ONE circumstance? While that one thing means so much to you and consumes you, that's just it…It's ONE thing. A thing that needs to be isolated from the rest of goodness. Admittedly, there are times where it seems like that one thing is thousands of things piling on you like sand pouring on the top of your head, like the world is out to get you and you can't catch a break..or a breath. Guys, I promise you, the world isn't out to eat you for lunch. This is where the wide angled lens thing comes into play.

When I look at the 'burden' of whatever it is that is weighing me down at the moment, I force myself to take a step back and look at all the treasures in my life. Out of that ONE thing that is burdening my soul so deeply, why can't these MILLIONS of other joys that surround me every day effect me in the opposite spirit? Because you have to acknowledge that they are there. You have to set that one thing aside that is taking your joy and CHOOSE to breath in love. Choose to breath in goodness. Choose to see only the goodness of that moment. If you choose to live in the darkness of your circumstance, then you deserve to feel the way you feel.

In my opinion, the best cure for getting oneself out of the lowest of lows is to FORCE yourself to go do a random act of kindness, even though its the last thing you feel like doing. And then when you're done with that. Do another one. I guarantee, making someone else feel good, despite feeling sad or broken….will turn that ugliness in your mindset into something better, and will make you see things from a much broader perspective.

Yeah, yeah, random acts of kindness. Cliché you say? Maybe, but suck it up, maybe its cliché because its true.

I speak from the experience of tremendous peaks and valleys, this helps. Do the opposite of what that negativity wants you to do. Surround yourself with people that make you happy, even if you want to close yourself in a dark basement. Get in your car, play the lamest Brittany Spears song you can muster at full blast and sing it at the top of your lungs…especially at stop lights when people are looking at you. And make sure your window is rolled down....and that you are wearing a pink tutu.  After your friend springs you from the insane asylum, you can look back at the moment and realize...yep, that was funny and it definitely took my mind off of that thing.

I know there are times in life where you need to grieve. Like I said, we are only human. Give yourself time to grieve or mourn, or shake an insecurity. But don't live there. Live in love, live in faith and live in the joy of the smallest things.

It will be ok <3. :)