When I was kid I liked to daydream about what life would be like at 20, and 25, and 30, and then 40….40 was like SO OLD…. ;) I used to think…surely I'll have finished college by 20, married by 25, and have 2.5 kids by the age of 30, and then by 40, well, practically retired! It's funny how life never quite goes how you expect it. I've come to realize that the cookie cutter, 'American Dream' sequence of life wasn't necessarily for me. Don't get me wrong, I could definitely see myself being married and being a mother someday, but if that's not how my story ends up, I'm also ok with that. At risk of sounding MAJORLY cliché, 'Life is not about a destination, its about the journey'.
In my early 20's I went through a couple of years that I called my 'wonder years', where I learned some hard lessons, had some seriously broken hearts , made some poor choices and grew up pretty quickly, and then as I approached my late 20's I really came much more into myself. I have become fiercely independent (probably a little too much as I'm sure a few of my sisters would say) and have had a drastically different outlook on life.
Without giving too many boring details, I am sure this is a tale so many can tell….how life always turns out so differently then you expect when you are a kid. But different can be SO GOOD! I'm learning to be in that mindset of, 'I am happy in the here and now, and also excited for what's next' simultaneously. Living life with arms wide open. I think so many people get so hung up on looking at 'the next big milestone' or 'next big excitement' that they think will make them happy, that they are not focused on being happy in the here and now and what it takes to make that happen.
I can candidly admit, I am a person with high emotions, good and bad, so this concept is not always easy for me. I go through my stages of extreme insecurities, doubts, fears…but I can tell you one thing….these things are normal…for EVERYONE. Every single person deals with this to one extent or another and no one can convince me otherwise. :) There are SO many ebbs and flows and twists and turns that are impossible to see coming. Embrace every bit of it. The highs, the lows, the happy's the sads. All of it forms who you are, how you got here, and the lessons you have learned. One thing I have always struggled with is getting so angry with myself when I feel any kind of sadness or emotion….that is totally RIDICULOUS. It's called HUMAN. BEING.
Balance yourself. Have your hard times, get it out, let out the hurts, but DON'T LINGER there. See your identity as the things you ARE and not the things you are NOT. Every single person is lovely and unique, and has so much to contribute to life. (Ok, maybe not Adolf Hitler, but you get the point).
One thing I ADORE about my family is how over the top stupidly cheesy we are about how much we love each other. We are not afraid to tell each other how much we love each other as much an as often as possible and its great. You never know what moment might be your last with someone. Make sure people know you care. And often. It's the SMALLEST things…it really is. :)
I don't really know what I'm trying to accomplish with this blog post other than….I'M ALMOST 30! And I'm GRATEFUL! So very grateful…for family, for friends, for the chance to live in a place that I absolutely love. So much. My life has been so rich and so full and I am so excited for the rest!
I will end this overly sentimental/fluffy blog post with one last important life fact:
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
(I know you just tried.)
